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You remember too much,

my mother said to me recently.

Why hold onto all that?

And I said,

Where do I put it down?

- Anne Carson, from “The Glass Essay” (via vrban)



if magikarp can do nothing and then suddenly grow up to be really useful then so can i

kinda like a penis also, it can be small and soft and then suddenly grow and get bitches pregnant 

(Source: molgars)


My friends mom is 4’9 and her dad is 6’5. Whenever she is mad at him, she grabs a chair to yell in his face. Everytime that happens, he’s laughing too hard for her to stay mad. They say it’s the only way they’ve been married for so long.

(Source: heykarli)